Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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