do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I need a hoe opinion
go on
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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