How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
