"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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