Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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