I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
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