What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
