New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
