I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
