Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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