hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
