her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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