ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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