he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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