seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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