There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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