Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
