Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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