You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
