ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
