I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
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