no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
