But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
