two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
