i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
