I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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