You work out of a Hotel?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
