also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
