Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
