You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
