Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
