Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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