if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
