So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
