Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
