i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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