Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
worst night to have a conscience
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's official drugs can't kill me
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
