So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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