I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
