why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
