No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
