So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
