Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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