Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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