I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
