I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm always down for nudity.
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