# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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