Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
