I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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