the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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