I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
