Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
