You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
