Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
