I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
