Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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