Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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