He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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