kristin has been a bad kristin
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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