What did we do last night that was yellow?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
