I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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