wanna go halves on a baby?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
