Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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