It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
