Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
