I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
