it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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