just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
