I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
