So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
