Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
