Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
