i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
